I feel good

Life is rolling along as well as can be expected. Moving across the country has been successful. I'm comfortable, have a home, doing great at work, have finances in order, and stress-free.

I don't like having too much on my plate. What I do have, I'm handling easily and I'd like to keep it that way. Simplicity. I love the idea and I love the word itself. "Simplicity" its refreshing. When I say it, I get an image of a tropical beach, with the breeze sweeping any and all stresses the world just loves to set on our shoulders.

In the next few weeks, I'll get to know some more people, and maybe expand my wardrobe. I was invited to lunch by the spiffy young hottie teachers the other day. Its funny. They are nice and outgoing and all, but its like they're having a skinny contest. I hope they're skinny naturally and eat a healthy diet. I'm not trying to be mean...I'm sure they're healthy and happy.

Its funny. At work, I'm valued and bragged about, which is bizarre, because I'm just progressing as a teacher with an additional year under his belt should. Anyway, they're paranoid that I'm using this just as a quickstop, then on to someplace else. I guess a lot of people do that. I think I could be here a few years at least. I'd just like to get entrenched and stable, then have my pick of where I'd like to live. Its hard to do that with such little experience. Its nice here, and while the school is in a tiny poor district, its nice.

I've lost some weight--just noticing now. I didn't mean to, but I guess since I eat a turkey sandwich half the time at lunch, instead of the school lunch, its helped. I haven't exercised much. I woke up early a few days ago and went for a run. I hadn't planned to, I just felt the urge to run. It was boring. But I ran along the train tracks, so it was kinda private and rocky...I prefer that over a flat, boring surface. I can see the allure of running before your day begins, but it really wakes you up and you feel more ready to get out into the world.

I don't think I'll get into that routine, because I still have trouble waking up at a consistent time. Twice this week I've fallen asleep at god-knows-when (early, with lights on and TV on). I've been here almost two months and still not acclimated to the time difference. Oh well, it will happen eventually.

I really am spoiled with the class I have. They're all so smart and well-mannered. I know I have a little hand in this, but really...they're amazing. It sucks not being able to share how great they are on a consistent basis with the other teachers, otherwise they'd resent me. Its not that they'd try to, but if I heard day after day how great a class was, then my class was a chore, I'd get pissy about it. So I'll just avoid that.

Progress

So...I have furniture now. I bought 2 chairs for $300. They both rock and swivel--which is the most important thing to me. One is used and other a floor model, so thats how I got them on the cheap. They are comfy.

I also contacted Cox cable yesterday, and I'll have TV by Tuesday. Its nice knowing that I don't NEED TV. It wasn't a priority. I went like 6 months w/o TV a couple of years ago, and it was no biggie. I enjoy testing to see if I'm overly reliant on things that I do a lot. Like just doing without it for a time, to see if I'm able. So far, I've been pretty successful with such experiments.

The teacher next door, who I've spent the most time with, is kind of bipolar. She prides herself on being smart, and has pointed out numerous times that I'm smart. She's on depression medicine, and gets upset easily. Not outwardly upset, but takes things the wrong way all the time, and takes them to heart for some reason. Yesterday, we're having our back-and-forth, usually about deep stuff, often about religion, and I said we should keep things light (to prevent any deep-seeded things from bursting out and someone feeling bad). Just this suggestion of keeping things light made her feel bad and upset. I was like "huh?" Its just weird.

Maybe I'm weird, for always being on such an even keel. She had this 5-minute sadness thing, and then she was fine. Can't we do without the little blips like that and just remain okay? I guess its harder for some than others. But I can't just attribute this to a predisposition. It may have something to do with it, but don't we decide how to be and cultivate ourselves in the way we'd like to interact and deal with the world around us?

Anyway, it sounds like the school I was at last year is falling to pieces. They don't have the numbers, and one of the K teachers had to move to pre-K disabled, which must be tough. It sounds like it was a good idea to get out of Dodge, rather than do all I could to stay. Even last year, the atmosphere wasn't what a school should feel like. I feel bad for the teachers still there, its nice to know I am missed, though.

I still haven't gone out and done much. I'm still trying to get comfortable financially. In October, we get paid 3 times, so that'll probably get me to where I don't have to be careful with money anymore. Its just that there's so much to buy when you move with only a few of your belongings. I still need to buy a bedframe and box springs. I'd also like to buy some ingredients for food, instead of ready-made food like I have been getting. After that, I think everything will be in place. It'll be what I'm used to--a home.

I've been officially observed twice now, and they've gone well both times. One was announced and one wasn't. Due to the fact that we're just supposed to follow the curriculum, and that my normal teaching style is similar to what they're specifically looking for, its been no problem. The principal and AP seem to be very impressed with me and have had nothing but nice things to say. Last year, it wasn't until December that I found out (wasn't even told straight up) that I should be doing centers (random, that I was to create) for a longer period of time than the curriculum itself. Just no communication. Perhaps that's why things aren't going well there, and at my current school, which has more poverty and language barriers to deal with, is doing well.

Tag! You're it! The rules: List 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 goals, 3 current obsessions/collections, 3 facts about yourself.

Ah jeez...

3 joys: My students. Nothing has ever gotten in the way of the joy I feel with my class. Not testing or administration, bad behavior, or bad parenting. The kids provide joyous moments every day. Usually they are little things, and well...the kids are little, so it fits.

Making people laugh/smile, etc. Its fun to do, whether you know them or not. I like seeing how many laughs I can get them to string together. Or also to do something kind for someone without there being any possibility of them finding out it was you. They'll then chalk it up to the world, or karma or whatever, and maybe think the world isn't so bad all the time. That's big.

When an old-school song comes on and everyone starts singing it. It wasn't a cool song back in the day, and no one's ever claimed to like the band, but every single person knows every single word...and everybody's yelling it out.

3 Fears.......Kinda that I'll never grow up. I mean, I think its good to always have some childishness in you. But I mean like having a grown-up wardrobe or a classically-furnished home. I don't like those things, they 're not me. Maybe they will be someday, but not anytime soon. And I'm almost 30...so ya.

I'm afraid that I'll one day settle for someone to avoid being alone. I've been good not to do that so far, but when I'm older, I think it will be harder to avoid dating and marrying someone I get along with okay, but not someone I need to be with forever. I'm okay with not ending up with someone, but I wonder if I'll always be so comfortable with that possibility.

That I'll never be the best me. Like that I'll never have a true peak, but a long enduring plateau. Shouldn't I at least try to be the best possible me for a few years before it becomes harder to do so? I mean be fit, festive, hard-working, accumulating wealth, etc. I live life as conveniently as possible, so it doesn't make for many upswings (or downturns).

3 Goals: I want to live in the Keys someday. It doesn't have to be indefinitely, but I think living down there would be agreeable to me.

I want to go to Bora Bora....not because its a random tropical paradise, but because its physically the most unique place I've ever seen and to actual witness it and be there would be epic. It would be enduring.

I'd like to help produce excellent human beings coming out of kindergarten. I hope to teach them how to be quality people, and that I may know how they end up when they grow up. It would be neat to hear any success stories of past students. It will be awhile until that is possible, but there was no timeline limits on this:)

3 obsessions/collections?
well I left any and all collections behind in FL. I'm a little obsessed with baseball and its statistics.

I'm obsessed with how things came to be this way. I have sought out knowledge about prehistory and how to identify and remedy our societal issues since finishing college. Its something that always weighs on me and I've got a huge interest in, only in the past few years.

I'm obsessed about why poeple aren't better. Now I'm not great by any means...but I just don't have the capacity to understand some people. Parents who don't give a damn about their own child. Violent criminals, etc. Someone put a baby in a microwave a few months back and just got sentenced. Where do you have to be in life for an idea like that to even enter your brain, and then do it? Isn't something wrong when its even possible? Don't there need to be drastic changes in ALL parts of our culture to ensure a better tomorrow? We'll have a quicker, lighter, easier, informative tomorrow.........but will it be better? Can we do anything to make it better?

3 Facts about Me....
I'm laid-back. Like exteremely. I don't TRY to be this way, its just comfortable. I don't get worked up over things. I don't make things dramatic or assume things happen with bad intentions. Getting upset never helps end the issue. I think seeing how frustrated and angry my dad got at every little thing showed me its no way to endure life.

I try to be as nice as possible. I'm fortunate that doing bad or doing the wrong thing feels foreign to me. I've tried bad things and acted wrongly to see what it was like, and it felt bizarre and I had no desire to try again. Being nice is easy and it spreads the goodness. I do feel bad for those people to whom badness is easy or fun. They might try avoiding it, but if its easy, they may do it w/o even meaning to. That's scary. I wish everyone had an aversion to doing bad.

I'm not a very good boyfriend. I found this out this past year. I'm so used to being single that when in a relationship, I feel crowded. I don't want to see someone every single day, just to hang out and do nothing. If I come over to their place, it should be to go out and have fun or whatever. I don't like making out and stuff, then continuing to sit around and hang out for hours on end. I prefer seeing someone once every few days. When we meet, it should be for a reason. I don't like doing nothing with someone, I prefer to do nothing by myself. I know this sounds strange. But I did feel like she was clingy, when she really wasn't. She was great. I just think I need more practice. I don't know. Maybe I'm institutionalized (so used to one thing,that something different is too hard....for now). Maybe I just need to find someone I can't stand to be away from. We'll see.

Update for the Demanding Masses

So for all of you reading this....millions by now, I shall update you on my thrilling life.
Right now, as a train passes by and rattles my apartment, I am about to embark on my third full week of teaching this year. About 1/3 of my class will be moved out, and I'll have a number of students from other classes coming in. The students were assessed and I'll be getting the high-achievers and English-speakers. So I guess that's good for me. Its tough losing kids I've grown to love, though.

I am finally comfortable in my new place. I finally got paid and was able to buy all the homely things that help make home a comfy place. I now sleep on a bed, sit on a cushion, can clean ceramic surfaces, have audio on my computer, and have power for an extended time.

What I'll acquire next is cable service and a larger seating spot. After that, the saving and frivolous spending may begin.

I've spent a lot of time with the kinder teacher next door. She's nice...we're kinda similar, but not the same. She's 10 years older than me, but still much younger than the other kinder teacher. She's smart and prudent like me, but not as silly or cavalier as I am at times. She thinks I'm funny. I've also trekked across the school to help and talk with the 8th grade science teacher. She's my age and sweet. Its her first year teaching and seems a bit overwhelmed, but is a neat freak, so she'll be fine. Perhaps, when she has more time, we may go off-campus with our time. We'll see.

Other than that, I don't know what to say. I'm becoming a bit more familiar with the area. Its weird, everything is divided by walls. I'm thinking that makes it hotter than it normally would be. There is a breeze here almost constantly, so wouldn't the walls halt that and make things more stagnant? I don't know. Traffic in the mornings isn't an issue, but seems unavoidable in the afternoons. I have my route though, half on the highway, half on streets and it works.

After my next check I'll need to go out to Margaritaville and spend some money. I'll go to an Arizona State football game too. I'm sure I'll meet some people there who share my love of football, sizzling meats, and philosophy, right??? Who knows. K bye.

AZ Update

Things here are going well. The first day of school was on Friday, and it went pretty good. I had 10 kids on my roster, but ended up with 14--still a low number. The one troublemaker of the group ended up sleeping most of the day. Monday will begin the real teaching and such. I like the administration at my new school. I've probably talked with the principal more already than my previous principal all of last year.

I have felt kind of stranded lately, because my lack of internet at home and my computer problems at school. It still isn't able to let me even log onto the computer! We'll see how long it takes to remedy that. I'm pretty bored at home bc of no TV, so I've been reading a lot, watching movies I have, and stuff like that. I have to save on gas, because I don't get paid until the 21st. I'm living cheap until then.

I just put my computer by the sliding glass door and wah-lah, INTERNET. So I get to type this now, and check up on things. Splendid. I live within a mile or two of 2 large shopping centers, that have pretty much every store you can think of, so that's good. A train passes by a couple times a day right outside my balcony. I don't mind because I wake up so early, but it must be hell for people who wake up after 6 am.

I haven't really gone out yet, due to my fiscal limitations, but plan to by September. There seems like there's plenty to do here. I live very close to Arizona State University. I'd like to explore more and travel to Vegas or LA in the next few months. Maybe go see a couple friends in Utah (if its not too far). We'll see. Right now, I'm just buying time until I'm able to buy products:)

Yes, its hot

Well I'm in Phoenix. I'm homeless, but in a sweet hotel for now. What I noticed in driving through San Antonio, El Paso, Tucson, and Phoenix is that they're southwestern-y. Like they go out of their way to look stereotypical. If I was mayor of one of these cities, I think I'd want to make it look different or original. Everything is maroon or tan....to blend in with all the sand?

Anyway, my school is in the ghetto, or BARRIO, as they'd say around here. That's okay though, it can be a little corner of goodness in a poor, sandy world. Phoenix is BIG. I like the busy-ness of a big city. It'd be MUCH easier to get around if I wasn't still towing my U-haul. But I thought it would be smart to avoid choosing a place to live sight-unseen.

I like noticing the little differences between here and FL. No mulch here....every piece of landscaping has tiny pebbles instead. Yes, little shrubberies, and cactus (cacti?)......stereotypical. I moved from a city where EVERY street was numbered to Phoenix, where only the streets running North-and-South are numbered. It's weird seeing street signs for San Diego, Los Angeles, and Flagstaff.

I start work tomorrow.....new teachers introductory stuff, I'm sure. It'll be nice to put a face with a voice. I look forward to exploring more to discover where important places are around here (Best Buy, Target, etc.). I had grown to be so comfortable in Gainesville, and now I'm surrounded by the unknown. It's cool and scary and interesting all at once. I'll be too busy to be concerned with much more than my students soon, so I'll look forward to Fall Break. Yes, that's right, we have a week off in October for no particular reason. I never heard of that, but will accept it gladly. I'm just anxious to get my class and see if any of them speaks English. We'll see.

I left so quickly that I only got to really say goodbye to my family and best friend. I had been buying time, waiting on job offers, and time finally ran out. On the trip, I saw llamas, goats, and roadrunners. One city in west Texas even had a 40-ft. roadrunner overlooking the town. Creepy. What I learned on my trip is that a small Saturn shouldn't tow a full trailer, but that it won't give out on you, either. One plus about barely being able to tow a trailer is that I was NEVER in danger of getting a speeding ticket. I drove over 2,000 miles and changed in elevation from about 170 ft. to 5,000 ft. at the Continental Divide. Phoenix has an elevation of around 1,100 ft. I wonder if I'll notice.

I'll write again when I've explored more and actually have a new place to call home.

Decisions!

In addition to my offer from Phoenix, AZ, I also just received an offer from Ogden, UT. I'm not sure which is better... I'm sure Utah is nice and pretty and good, plus it doesn't get to be 110 degrees there, does it? But Phoenix is a big city, with much to do. What I'd LIKE to happen is for one of the districts I interviewed with today in FL to "make me an offer I can't refuse." So potential new locations to live are: St. Lucie County, Hardee County, Phoenix, or Ogden. I'm leaning towards AZ over UT, but would take either FL position. I can't keep Phoenix waiting forever, can I?

The Future

Well it looks like I have an offer from the Phoenix, AZ area. It sounds like a small school district, in a poor area, but its a new place! I will still go to the job fair in Savannah, GA and try to go to the State of Florida Teach-in...if AZ can wait that long. I'd prefer something closer, but moving will be cool, too. It's nice to even have that option.

Tick Tock

I'm counting down the days until the school year is over. 13 more I think. Wow. So my first year included being moved 2 weeks in...being put in a 5th grade room with kindergarteners, meeting great people in my grade level, being told I wasn't coming back, then having vast improvement from my students and being comended. Now I'm job hunting, and its a bummer. Each individual county wants the same 10 documents from me electronically, which I'm unable to send at the moment. And Marion County has waited a week to tell me I need to come in to explicity tell them which documents from my file I need faxed. I hate when a person way above me in responsibility and pay scale does more poorly at their job than I would. I'm totally unimpressed with things. All we hear about is how badly teachers are needed, when I, at least a decent teacher with no baggage, has this much issue in getting and maintaining employment. However, I did get a job last year, and I'm much better now with a year's experience, so I SHOULD be able to get a new job, yes?
I think I'm liking Lisa more and more...but not completely. She's cute and funny, but hates when I point it out to her. She doesn't like mushy stuff, and I love sharing the mushy stuff I'm feeling. She's like 5'1" and thinks she's tough. Like just about every woman alive, she doesn't realize how attractive she is, but oh well. I've learned by now that even though I see real, obvious beauty in many women, hardly any of them see it in themselves. I think makeup should be outlawed. Believe it or not ladies, when you first wake up, and have no makeup on, your hair is a mess, and you're wearing god knows what....you're beautiful.

How I met Lisa...

For inquiring minds:
I first met her at a LeapFrog training...it was boring, she was sitting in front of me, and we had fun talking. Then I saw her briefly at another training, but nothing came of it. Then the randomness happened.
I leave school one day and my car won't start. It won't start with jumper cables either. It won't start when the AAA guy comes out, either. So I had to get it towed. I'm at the car place waiting, look out the window, and there she is. She was having car issues, too, but her car was ready to go. So she and her neighbor-friend invited me to dinner, in leiu of sitting around at the car place. I eat with them, go back to their place, and it was nice.
So we get to e-mailing daily and go out, accidently took her to a REALLY nice restaurant (tried an unfamiliar place, it was surprisingly upscale), and that's that. We're still spending time together when we can (she has a second job, I coach little league). It's been nice. She teaches kindergarten at another school, and is being transferred to a different school for next year. So we'll see.

Whats happening...

Well, the school year is winding down, so that's good. My class is going well, but I don't know where I'll be next year. My principal doesn't want me back, so I'll be job hunting. She observed me on consecutive days a few weeks back. I'm not sure what type of growth and improvement she expects to see on consecutive days, but then again, she didn't hire me. Unfortunately, there is a hiring freeze in the county, due to major cuts in Florida's education budget. I'll finish out the year and try to get a new job. If all else fails, I can at least move (not tied to a lease) somewhere else, or just go back to O2b Kids.

Personally, things are going pretty well. I've been seeing someone for a few weeks now, and she's a nice girl, cute and quirky. I don't know how long it will last, but I'll be patient and we'll see. I'm in no rush to do anything. Marriage and kids will be great, but I'll have to know her for years before any of that stuff happens. I've started eating a little better. I don't wish to be small or whatever, but I'd like to remain healthy, and I just feel drawn to a more naturalistic lifestyle. Aren't we made to be omnivores? Nuts, berries, meat, etc. are good things we've eaten forever. I've just cut out processed stuff like coke, breads, and other things that aren't straight from the Earth. I'm not becoming a uber-health nut by any means, but I feel eating simpler things is just right.

I don't know if all our technology and "easy, rich" lifestyle is worth what we all have to do to keep it going. How do we really benefit from going to work 8 hours a day at something we may like, but feel we have to go to? I love kids, and I'm making more money than I ever have before, but for what we literally get from the effort isn't all that much. I've simplified it down to air conditioning (and heat) and being able to travel long distances quickly. We work to get money for what: a place to live, a car, food, and other non-essential things, right? A place to live is something we could build (with help)--at least an open-air shelter. So we do all this work and pay all this money for what: enclosed walls and control over the temperature inside. If I could give that up in exchange for not having to work a daily job, I'd do it in a second. We can grow our own food, trade excess to others for what they grow or produce. Hell, MOST of the world still works this way. Our rich, "better" method stinks. Yes, I can go to the store in my car (which I work a daily job to pay for and maintain) and get any fruit, meat, or processed good I desire. Would I give that up and live a life of eating the same few things if it meant I didn't have to go to a daily job? Of course!

I realize I'm probably in the minority, and that the simpler, "tribal" lifestyle is a bit romanticized, but I still feel it would be better for me. Why don't I move down to Costa Rica and start it up? Well, the people I care about are here, my family and friends. I have been raised in this culture and would find it very tough to immediately switch to a more natural lifestyle. And I'm a big wuss about it, too. If I did leave this all behind to live in a jungle, eating bugs, living under a hut, my biggest concern would be my dad's reaction. Not that I require his approval for things, but I feel he's endured enough stress and unpleasant things in his life that I just couldn't produce another stunning moment. Maybe I'll have the gall to do it once he's not around.

Thats all for now. You must think I'm REALLY weird by now. Oh well. Weird isn't bad, its just a bit different. Variety is good, especially genetically! Survival! k bye.

First Blog

Just making this so I can comment on other's blogs. I'm not much of a blogger...I didn't have a natural gift of blogging growing up. I never took a blog class in college, or met a friend who taught me how to blog well. I have no bloggish tendencies, nor do I blog in other languages. I've never even accidentally blogged, either.