Life is rolling along as well as can be expected. Moving across the country has been successful. I'm comfortable, have a home, doing great at work, have finances in order, and stress-free.
I don't like having too much on my plate. What I do have, I'm handling easily and I'd like to keep it that way. Simplicity. I love the idea and I love the word itself. "Simplicity" its refreshing. When I say it, I get an image of a tropical beach, with the breeze sweeping any and all stresses the world just loves to set on our shoulders.
In the next few weeks, I'll get to know some more people, and maybe expand my wardrobe. I was invited to lunch by the spiffy young hottie teachers the other day. Its funny. They are nice and outgoing and all, but its like they're having a skinny contest. I hope they're skinny naturally and eat a healthy diet. I'm not trying to be mean...I'm sure they're healthy and happy.
Its funny. At work, I'm valued and bragged about, which is bizarre, because I'm just progressing as a teacher with an additional year under his belt should. Anyway, they're paranoid that I'm using this just as a quickstop, then on to someplace else. I guess a lot of people do that. I think I could be here a few years at least. I'd just like to get entrenched and stable, then have my pick of where I'd like to live. Its hard to do that with such little experience. Its nice here, and while the school is in a tiny poor district, its nice.
I've lost some weight--just noticing now. I didn't mean to, but I guess since I eat a turkey sandwich half the time at lunch, instead of the school lunch, its helped. I haven't exercised much. I woke up early a few days ago and went for a run. I hadn't planned to, I just felt the urge to run. It was boring. But I ran along the train tracks, so it was kinda private and rocky...I prefer that over a flat, boring surface. I can see the allure of running before your day begins, but it really wakes you up and you feel more ready to get out into the world.
I don't think I'll get into that routine, because I still have trouble waking up at a consistent time. Twice this week I've fallen asleep at god-knows-when (early, with lights on and TV on). I've been here almost two months and still not acclimated to the time difference. Oh well, it will happen eventually.
I really am spoiled with the class I have. They're all so smart and well-mannered. I know I have a little hand in this, but really...they're amazing. It sucks not being able to share how great they are on a consistent basis with the other teachers, otherwise they'd resent me. Its not that they'd try to, but if I heard day after day how great a class was, then my class was a chore, I'd get pissy about it. So I'll just avoid that.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Progress
So...I have furniture now. I bought 2 chairs for $300. They both rock and swivel--which is the most important thing to me. One is used and other a floor model, so thats how I got them on the cheap. They are comfy.
I also contacted Cox cable yesterday, and I'll have TV by Tuesday. Its nice knowing that I don't NEED TV. It wasn't a priority. I went like 6 months w/o TV a couple of years ago, and it was no biggie. I enjoy testing to see if I'm overly reliant on things that I do a lot. Like just doing without it for a time, to see if I'm able. So far, I've been pretty successful with such experiments.
The teacher next door, who I've spent the most time with, is kind of bipolar. She prides herself on being smart, and has pointed out numerous times that I'm smart. She's on depression medicine, and gets upset easily. Not outwardly upset, but takes things the wrong way all the time, and takes them to heart for some reason. Yesterday, we're having our back-and-forth, usually about deep stuff, often about religion, and I said we should keep things light (to prevent any deep-seeded things from bursting out and someone feeling bad). Just this suggestion of keeping things light made her feel bad and upset. I was like "huh?" Its just weird.
Maybe I'm weird, for always being on such an even keel. She had this 5-minute sadness thing, and then she was fine. Can't we do without the little blips like that and just remain okay? I guess its harder for some than others. But I can't just attribute this to a predisposition. It may have something to do with it, but don't we decide how to be and cultivate ourselves in the way we'd like to interact and deal with the world around us?
Anyway, it sounds like the school I was at last year is falling to pieces. They don't have the numbers, and one of the K teachers had to move to pre-K disabled, which must be tough. It sounds like it was a good idea to get out of Dodge, rather than do all I could to stay. Even last year, the atmosphere wasn't what a school should feel like. I feel bad for the teachers still there, its nice to know I am missed, though.
I still haven't gone out and done much. I'm still trying to get comfortable financially. In October, we get paid 3 times, so that'll probably get me to where I don't have to be careful with money anymore. Its just that there's so much to buy when you move with only a few of your belongings. I still need to buy a bedframe and box springs. I'd also like to buy some ingredients for food, instead of ready-made food like I have been getting. After that, I think everything will be in place. It'll be what I'm used to--a home.
I've been officially observed twice now, and they've gone well both times. One was announced and one wasn't. Due to the fact that we're just supposed to follow the curriculum, and that my normal teaching style is similar to what they're specifically looking for, its been no problem. The principal and AP seem to be very impressed with me and have had nothing but nice things to say. Last year, it wasn't until December that I found out (wasn't even told straight up) that I should be doing centers (random, that I was to create) for a longer period of time than the curriculum itself. Just no communication. Perhaps that's why things aren't going well there, and at my current school, which has more poverty and language barriers to deal with, is doing well.
I also contacted Cox cable yesterday, and I'll have TV by Tuesday. Its nice knowing that I don't NEED TV. It wasn't a priority. I went like 6 months w/o TV a couple of years ago, and it was no biggie. I enjoy testing to see if I'm overly reliant on things that I do a lot. Like just doing without it for a time, to see if I'm able. So far, I've been pretty successful with such experiments.
The teacher next door, who I've spent the most time with, is kind of bipolar. She prides herself on being smart, and has pointed out numerous times that I'm smart. She's on depression medicine, and gets upset easily. Not outwardly upset, but takes things the wrong way all the time, and takes them to heart for some reason. Yesterday, we're having our back-and-forth, usually about deep stuff, often about religion, and I said we should keep things light (to prevent any deep-seeded things from bursting out and someone feeling bad). Just this suggestion of keeping things light made her feel bad and upset. I was like "huh?" Its just weird.
Maybe I'm weird, for always being on such an even keel. She had this 5-minute sadness thing, and then she was fine. Can't we do without the little blips like that and just remain okay? I guess its harder for some than others. But I can't just attribute this to a predisposition. It may have something to do with it, but don't we decide how to be and cultivate ourselves in the way we'd like to interact and deal with the world around us?
Anyway, it sounds like the school I was at last year is falling to pieces. They don't have the numbers, and one of the K teachers had to move to pre-K disabled, which must be tough. It sounds like it was a good idea to get out of Dodge, rather than do all I could to stay. Even last year, the atmosphere wasn't what a school should feel like. I feel bad for the teachers still there, its nice to know I am missed, though.
I still haven't gone out and done much. I'm still trying to get comfortable financially. In October, we get paid 3 times, so that'll probably get me to where I don't have to be careful with money anymore. Its just that there's so much to buy when you move with only a few of your belongings. I still need to buy a bedframe and box springs. I'd also like to buy some ingredients for food, instead of ready-made food like I have been getting. After that, I think everything will be in place. It'll be what I'm used to--a home.
I've been officially observed twice now, and they've gone well both times. One was announced and one wasn't. Due to the fact that we're just supposed to follow the curriculum, and that my normal teaching style is similar to what they're specifically looking for, its been no problem. The principal and AP seem to be very impressed with me and have had nothing but nice things to say. Last year, it wasn't until December that I found out (wasn't even told straight up) that I should be doing centers (random, that I was to create) for a longer period of time than the curriculum itself. Just no communication. Perhaps that's why things aren't going well there, and at my current school, which has more poverty and language barriers to deal with, is doing well.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Tag! You're it! The rules: List 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 goals, 3 current obsessions/collections, 3 facts about yourself.
Ah jeez...
3 joys: My students. Nothing has ever gotten in the way of the joy I feel with my class. Not testing or administration, bad behavior, or bad parenting. The kids provide joyous moments every day. Usually they are little things, and well...the kids are little, so it fits.
Making people laugh/smile, etc. Its fun to do, whether you know them or not. I like seeing how many laughs I can get them to string together. Or also to do something kind for someone without there being any possibility of them finding out it was you. They'll then chalk it up to the world, or karma or whatever, and maybe think the world isn't so bad all the time. That's big.
When an old-school song comes on and everyone starts singing it. It wasn't a cool song back in the day, and no one's ever claimed to like the band, but every single person knows every single word...and everybody's yelling it out.
3 Fears.......Kinda that I'll never grow up. I mean, I think its good to always have some childishness in you. But I mean like having a grown-up wardrobe or a classically-furnished home. I don't like those things, they 're not me. Maybe they will be someday, but not anytime soon. And I'm almost 30...so ya.
I'm afraid that I'll one day settle for someone to avoid being alone. I've been good not to do that so far, but when I'm older, I think it will be harder to avoid dating and marrying someone I get along with okay, but not someone I need to be with forever. I'm okay with not ending up with someone, but I wonder if I'll always be so comfortable with that possibility.
That I'll never be the best me. Like that I'll never have a true peak, but a long enduring plateau. Shouldn't I at least try to be the best possible me for a few years before it becomes harder to do so? I mean be fit, festive, hard-working, accumulating wealth, etc. I live life as conveniently as possible, so it doesn't make for many upswings (or downturns).
3 Goals: I want to live in the Keys someday. It doesn't have to be indefinitely, but I think living down there would be agreeable to me.
I want to go to Bora Bora....not because its a random tropical paradise, but because its physically the most unique place I've ever seen and to actual witness it and be there would be epic. It would be enduring.
I'd like to help produce excellent human beings coming out of kindergarten. I hope to teach them how to be quality people, and that I may know how they end up when they grow up. It would be neat to hear any success stories of past students. It will be awhile until that is possible, but there was no timeline limits on this:)
3 obsessions/collections?
well I left any and all collections behind in FL. I'm a little obsessed with baseball and its statistics.
I'm obsessed with how things came to be this way. I have sought out knowledge about prehistory and how to identify and remedy our societal issues since finishing college. Its something that always weighs on me and I've got a huge interest in, only in the past few years.
I'm obsessed about why poeple aren't better. Now I'm not great by any means...but I just don't have the capacity to understand some people. Parents who don't give a damn about their own child. Violent criminals, etc. Someone put a baby in a microwave a few months back and just got sentenced. Where do you have to be in life for an idea like that to even enter your brain, and then do it? Isn't something wrong when its even possible? Don't there need to be drastic changes in ALL parts of our culture to ensure a better tomorrow? We'll have a quicker, lighter, easier, informative tomorrow.........but will it be better? Can we do anything to make it better?
3 Facts about Me....
I'm laid-back. Like exteremely. I don't TRY to be this way, its just comfortable. I don't get worked up over things. I don't make things dramatic or assume things happen with bad intentions. Getting upset never helps end the issue. I think seeing how frustrated and angry my dad got at every little thing showed me its no way to endure life.
I try to be as nice as possible. I'm fortunate that doing bad or doing the wrong thing feels foreign to me. I've tried bad things and acted wrongly to see what it was like, and it felt bizarre and I had no desire to try again. Being nice is easy and it spreads the goodness. I do feel bad for those people to whom badness is easy or fun. They might try avoiding it, but if its easy, they may do it w/o even meaning to. That's scary. I wish everyone had an aversion to doing bad.
I'm not a very good boyfriend. I found this out this past year. I'm so used to being single that when in a relationship, I feel crowded. I don't want to see someone every single day, just to hang out and do nothing. If I come over to their place, it should be to go out and have fun or whatever. I don't like making out and stuff, then continuing to sit around and hang out for hours on end. I prefer seeing someone once every few days. When we meet, it should be for a reason. I don't like doing nothing with someone, I prefer to do nothing by myself. I know this sounds strange. But I did feel like she was clingy, when she really wasn't. She was great. I just think I need more practice. I don't know. Maybe I'm institutionalized (so used to one thing,that something different is too hard....for now). Maybe I just need to find someone I can't stand to be away from. We'll see.
3 joys: My students. Nothing has ever gotten in the way of the joy I feel with my class. Not testing or administration, bad behavior, or bad parenting. The kids provide joyous moments every day. Usually they are little things, and well...the kids are little, so it fits.
Making people laugh/smile, etc. Its fun to do, whether you know them or not. I like seeing how many laughs I can get them to string together. Or also to do something kind for someone without there being any possibility of them finding out it was you. They'll then chalk it up to the world, or karma or whatever, and maybe think the world isn't so bad all the time. That's big.
When an old-school song comes on and everyone starts singing it. It wasn't a cool song back in the day, and no one's ever claimed to like the band, but every single person knows every single word...and everybody's yelling it out.
3 Fears.......Kinda that I'll never grow up. I mean, I think its good to always have some childishness in you. But I mean like having a grown-up wardrobe or a classically-furnished home. I don't like those things, they 're not me. Maybe they will be someday, but not anytime soon. And I'm almost 30...so ya.
I'm afraid that I'll one day settle for someone to avoid being alone. I've been good not to do that so far, but when I'm older, I think it will be harder to avoid dating and marrying someone I get along with okay, but not someone I need to be with forever. I'm okay with not ending up with someone, but I wonder if I'll always be so comfortable with that possibility.
That I'll never be the best me. Like that I'll never have a true peak, but a long enduring plateau. Shouldn't I at least try to be the best possible me for a few years before it becomes harder to do so? I mean be fit, festive, hard-working, accumulating wealth, etc. I live life as conveniently as possible, so it doesn't make for many upswings (or downturns).
3 Goals: I want to live in the Keys someday. It doesn't have to be indefinitely, but I think living down there would be agreeable to me.
I want to go to Bora Bora....not because its a random tropical paradise, but because its physically the most unique place I've ever seen and to actual witness it and be there would be epic. It would be enduring.
I'd like to help produce excellent human beings coming out of kindergarten. I hope to teach them how to be quality people, and that I may know how they end up when they grow up. It would be neat to hear any success stories of past students. It will be awhile until that is possible, but there was no timeline limits on this:)
3 obsessions/collections?
well I left any and all collections behind in FL. I'm a little obsessed with baseball and its statistics.
I'm obsessed with how things came to be this way. I have sought out knowledge about prehistory and how to identify and remedy our societal issues since finishing college. Its something that always weighs on me and I've got a huge interest in, only in the past few years.
I'm obsessed about why poeple aren't better. Now I'm not great by any means...but I just don't have the capacity to understand some people. Parents who don't give a damn about their own child. Violent criminals, etc. Someone put a baby in a microwave a few months back and just got sentenced. Where do you have to be in life for an idea like that to even enter your brain, and then do it? Isn't something wrong when its even possible? Don't there need to be drastic changes in ALL parts of our culture to ensure a better tomorrow? We'll have a quicker, lighter, easier, informative tomorrow.........but will it be better? Can we do anything to make it better?
3 Facts about Me....
I'm laid-back. Like exteremely. I don't TRY to be this way, its just comfortable. I don't get worked up over things. I don't make things dramatic or assume things happen with bad intentions. Getting upset never helps end the issue. I think seeing how frustrated and angry my dad got at every little thing showed me its no way to endure life.
I try to be as nice as possible. I'm fortunate that doing bad or doing the wrong thing feels foreign to me. I've tried bad things and acted wrongly to see what it was like, and it felt bizarre and I had no desire to try again. Being nice is easy and it spreads the goodness. I do feel bad for those people to whom badness is easy or fun. They might try avoiding it, but if its easy, they may do it w/o even meaning to. That's scary. I wish everyone had an aversion to doing bad.
I'm not a very good boyfriend. I found this out this past year. I'm so used to being single that when in a relationship, I feel crowded. I don't want to see someone every single day, just to hang out and do nothing. If I come over to their place, it should be to go out and have fun or whatever. I don't like making out and stuff, then continuing to sit around and hang out for hours on end. I prefer seeing someone once every few days. When we meet, it should be for a reason. I don't like doing nothing with someone, I prefer to do nothing by myself. I know this sounds strange. But I did feel like she was clingy, when she really wasn't. She was great. I just think I need more practice. I don't know. Maybe I'm institutionalized (so used to one thing,that something different is too hard....for now). Maybe I just need to find someone I can't stand to be away from. We'll see.
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